http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=17&verse=104
Sahih International: And We said after Pharaoh to the Children of Israel, "Dwell in the land, and when there comes the promise of the Hereafter, We will bring you forth in [one] gathering."
Pickthall: And We said unto the Children of Israel after him: Dwell in the land; but when the promise of the Hereafter cometh to pass We shall bring you as a crowd gathered out of various nations.
Yusuf Ali: And We said thereafter to the Children of Israel, "Dwell securely in the land (of promise)": but when the second of the warnings came to pass, We gathered you together in a mingled crowd.
Shakir: And We said to the Israelites after him: Dwell in the land: and when the promise of the next life shall come to pass, we will bring you both together in judgment.
Muhammad Sarwar: We told the Israelites after this to settle in the land until Our second promise will come true. We would then gather them all together (on the Day of Judgment).
Mohsin Khan: And We said to the Children of Israel after him: "Dwell in the land, then, when the final and the last promise comes near [i.e. the Day of Resurrection or the descent of Christ ['Iesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary) on the earth]. We shall bring you altogether as mixed crowd (gathered out of various nations).[Tafsir Al-Qurtubi, Vol. 10, Page 338]
Arberry: And We said to the Children of Israel after him, 'Dwell in the land; and when the promise of the world to come comes to pass, We shall bring you a rabble.'
Israeli Jewish leader [pointing to 17:104 of the Koran]:
Arab Muslim leader:
Israeli Jewish leader:
Arab Muslim leader:
Both sides keep their promises and the Jews and Muslims become good neighbours, looking in on each other and dropping in on each other for cups of tea and even borrowing cups of sugar from each other from time to time time.
Finally, the Muslims become concerned about the Jews stoning each other over every little thing. They thought it was a dreadful thing that Jews could not go shopping on a Saturday, open their shops, drive to shul or even switch on the light without incurring the penalty of being dragged outside their city gates and then being stoned to death.
Also, although the Muslims disapproved of drunkenness, they thought it was a bit strict that disobedient sons who were drunkards were also dragged outside the city gates and stoned to death.
The Muslims learned of all the capital crimes in Israel that were not capital crimes in their country and thought it really was all a bit too much. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoning#Judaism
So one day, they finally decided to raise the subject with the Jews and said:
Jews:
Sahih International: And We said after Pharaoh to the Children of Israel, "Dwell in the land, and when there comes the promise of the Hereafter, We will bring you forth in [one] gathering."
Pickthall: And We said unto the Children of Israel after him: Dwell in the land; but when the promise of the Hereafter cometh to pass We shall bring you as a crowd gathered out of various nations.
Yusuf Ali: And We said thereafter to the Children of Israel, "Dwell securely in the land (of promise)": but when the second of the warnings came to pass, We gathered you together in a mingled crowd.
Shakir: And We said to the Israelites after him: Dwell in the land: and when the promise of the next life shall come to pass, we will bring you both together in judgment.
Muhammad Sarwar: We told the Israelites after this to settle in the land until Our second promise will come true. We would then gather them all together (on the Day of Judgment).
Mohsin Khan: And We said to the Children of Israel after him: "Dwell in the land, then, when the final and the last promise comes near [i.e. the Day of Resurrection or the descent of Christ ['Iesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary) on the earth]. We shall bring you altogether as mixed crowd (gathered out of various nations).[Tafsir Al-Qurtubi, Vol. 10, Page 338]
Arberry: And We said to the Children of Israel after him, 'Dwell in the land; and when the promise of the world to come comes to pass, We shall bring you a rabble.'
Israeli Jewish leader [pointing to 17:104 of the Koran]:
Don't you think you had better allow us the peaceful enjoyment of our land since your Koran is Zionist too? Even Allah has decreed that Jews should live in Israel! Surely it is forbidden for Muslims to forbid what God has allowed!
Arab Muslim leader:
I suppose we cannot quarrel with the Koran, it being God's Word and all, but it is obvious that Israel of all the countries in the world must be theocracy. Currently, you are nothing but a filthy colonial outpost of an evil and declining empire still bent on inflicting Global Gay Marriage before it breathes its last after turning our Global Village into Sodom and Gomorrah and causing it to suffer the same fate. It is a religious obligation of Muslims to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, don't you know. http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=3&verse=114
Israeli Jewish leader:
OK, we will stop all that nonsense and become a Torah theocracy and a Jewish ethno-state as long as you promise not to attack us any more and allow us the peaceful enjoyment of all the territories we have so far managed to acquire.
Arab Muslim leader:
Done!
Both sides keep their promises and the Jews and Muslims become good neighbours, looking in on each other and dropping in on each other for cups of tea and even borrowing cups of sugar from each other from time to time time.
Finally, the Muslims become concerned about the Jews stoning each other over every little thing. They thought it was a dreadful thing that Jews could not go shopping on a Saturday, open their shops, drive to shul or even switch on the light without incurring the penalty of being dragged outside their city gates and then being stoned to death.
Also, although the Muslims disapproved of drunkenness, they thought it was a bit strict that disobedient sons who were drunkards were also dragged outside the city gates and stoned to death.
The Muslims learned of all the capital crimes in Israel that were not capital crimes in their country and thought it really was all a bit too much. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoning#Judaism
So one day, they finally decided to raise the subject with the Jews and said:
You know, you don't have to stone each other for breaking the Sabbath. If you adopt sharia, you won't have to end up stoning those who break Sabbath and your disobedient sons who are drunkards. The idea of you stoning each other over matters we would consider not offences at all distresses us extremely and we were wondering if you could just consider our suggestion, if you wouldn't mind. It has been said that Islam is 'Judaism Lite' and we even know of something called Secular Koranism, conceived of by one Claire Khaw - a very kind, nice and wise lady - which is intended to be 'Islam Lite. Either way you would still be a theocracy, you see, and that is the main thing really, as far as God is concerned.
Jews:
Why didn't you say so before!
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